As I prepare to launch the podcast on June 15th, I was asked to be a guest on the Grit & Glory, Songs & Stories podcast with Mark Alewine. We had an awesome conversation! I can’t wait to hear how it came out.
Mark gave me the chance to give him a question that I wanted him to ask. I thought about it and said “Ask me about my biggest failure.”
So I told him about that fateful summer day in 2019 when I botched the end of God Bless America, and it went viral on the internet.
In truth I don’t know if it was my “biggest” failure. But it was my most public one.
Let’s start with the punchline first:
I’m not a perfect singer, but I love it. The feeling of holding someone’s attention while they’re listening to your voice is exhilarating.
I talk on the radio for a living. I enjoy that version of performance too. But, I’m telling you, absolutely NOTHING compares to singing in front of thousands of people.
I’ve been doing the National Anthem and God Bless America consistently at sporting events and other gatherings for around 20 years. I’ve had performances I wasn’t proud of where my voice was tired, or my timing was off, or I didn’t start very strong. But I have never had anything anywhere close to what happened in August of 2019.
It was like sprinting full speed off a cliff that I didn’t even know what there.
SINGING FOR THE RANGERS
That night was the fifth time I have had the pleasure of singing the National Anthem and/or God Bless America for the Texas Rangers. It’s been a blessing to perform for them, and I’m so thankful for the chances I’ve been given.
And it’s not just the Rangers. I sing for the Stars, Mavs and in front of former presidents!
But to that point, I had felt like that performance in August of 2019 was my biggest assignment yet. It was a weekend game, with an evening start, on a bobblehead night (notorious for big crowds), and Josh Hamilton and Richard Greene were being inducted into the Texas Rangers Hall of Fame.
I felt the energy as I went out before the game to sing the National Anthem. The crowd was engaged and ready for a fun night of baseball. And the Star Spangled Banner went really well:
It felt great. Strong. Solid. And an honor to be a prelude to the Hall of Fame ceremony.
THE FATAL FLAW
It was a long game. One hour went by, then two, then three. This was before the pitch clock and the other new rules to accelerate the pace of play. I could have used some accelerated pace of play!
Finally, four hours after my 6:38 P.M. National Anthem, I was about to sing God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch.
During the long game my phone had run out of battery, and I was charging it in the holding room before going on the field for GBA. My phone came back on and I used my piano app to find my pitch. Here was the fatal flaw: instead of taking the phone with me to the field, I left it in the room to charge. I swore to myself I would not forget the pitch.
I forgot the pitch.
During the pitching change right before I sang, the sound system blasted a loud country song and I let it overpower my ability to retain that “G” in my head. I totally lost the pitch. So I started to try to find it again. Finally I settled on a note that I thought was the “G.”
It was not.
The inning came to an end, I walked confidently onto the field, as I had done many times before. As I opened up to sing, I didn’t realize I was actually starting God Bless America on an “A.” I was headed for disaster, and I had no idea.
Adding to my problems was that I knew I was sounding really good. The song was coming out freely and beautifully and I thought I was heading to a strong punctuation of a great day of singing.
But as I got into the final phrase: “my HOME, SWEEEET…” something didn’t feel quite right. For the first time in the song I realized I might be too high. But I had felt this feeling before and nailed it. So I just chose to keep going like I was in the proper key. And I paid for it.
If I start on that G, it’s a nice performance, I finish strong, everybody claps, and we move on with our lives. But instead…no…almost nothing came out. My worst performance feeling ever…
If I start on that G, it’s a nice performance, I finish strong, everybody claps, and we move on with our lives. But instead…no…almost nothing came out. My worst performance feeling ever…
I Laughed
…for about two seconds. There were about two seconds of panic, and then I laughed. I knew it sounded horrible. There was nothing else to do. I wasn’t “proud” of the performance. I expected better. But now, four years later, I am so proud of how I handled it. From the moment it happened, I was able to laugh at myself.
Every single person I talked to face-to-face about the incident was very encouraging. Everyone from the fans there in the stadium, to my family and friends. They didn’t have to step up and let me know they cared, they just did. And that helped.
But I had about an 85% feeling that I had just created a viral moment. Once I woke up that next morning, I learned I was right.
And sometimes the internet can be a messy place.
And don’t even look at the mentions. Some are not very nice. I looked at a few, and then I decided to stay out of them. Maybe someday I’ll go back and see what everyone had to say and have a good laugh.
If someone did have something unkind to say I tried to laugh along with them, because in the end, they’re just looking for an escape…like we all are. And, let’s face it, it was funny. And people think they’re making fun of me and I’ll never see it. They’d never say the same to my face.
LOVED
But, also that next day I felt so much love from so many great friends. Several texted encouragement. Some of them had started to dive into the comments section and got upset. Some just wanted to tell me they cared.
And lots…even publicly defended me:
And it was the very same thing on Facebook, with dozens of positive and loving comments. When I could have been down, all my friends wanted to do was fill my heart with love. Incredible.
Bouncing Back
My overall story, of going through a divorce, where I was mostly at fault, and bouncing back has become my biggest failure story, honestly.
Maybe I would have never been able to have the strength and belief to walk through that time if I hadn’t gone through other tough moments in my life, like this silly Rangers fiasco.
I wrote this a few days after the event:
“But, we can choose to look for the good in EVERY situation we go through. Job loss, breakups, rejection, sickness, even the death of a loved one.
And I’m writing this not only for you, but also for myself, to help me remember when I fail, I can always get up, I can always laugh about it, I can always cling to those I love, and I can ALWAYS try again…and GO FOR IT!!
I won’t have trouble taking the mic again and singing a song. Like I said, it gives me too much of a high to give up for fear of cracking again.
But, I might be tempted to not to go after a gig because I was rejected last time. Nope, instead, I’ll GO FOR IT.
Somebody might turn me down when I ask to interview them. I can respect their space for a bit. But then, I’ll GO FOR IT again!
I might be tempted to not reconcile after a fight with my wife or kids for fear of getting hurt. Nope, get over it, and GO FOR IT.
I’ve got to workshop the message a bit. It’s a little unpolished right now. But the basic thought is: Go. For. It.”
EPILOGUE
So now, four years later, I reflect on what was in my heart at that moment…and while I may have been a little naïve of what was to come, the desire was certainly there to push forward when tough times came.
I’ve always wanted that. Even when it was hard.
Heck, I’m going through a hard time right now on May 25, 2023: Another breakup. Insecurity. Confusion. Discouragement.
But, I’ve gotten up before. I’m going to do it again.
I look back and see my failures TRULY didn’t define me. I have moved forward. I can again.
I know you can too, friend!
Where You're Going 
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