Where You're Going

John Liddle:

Welcome into the Where You’re Going Podcast. I’m your host, John Liddle. It is not about where you’ve been. It’s not even about where you are right now. It is about where you’re going and who you’re becoming. And that’s what this show is all about. I’m your host, John Liddle. Thank you so much for being here for show number two. Got such a treat for you today. Thank you for being here. If you’re liking the show so far, make sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. But Apple Podcasts, Spotify YouTube, rate the show, review the show. If you’re on Apple Podcasts, just scroll on down to the bottom of the show page and you can review the show right there. Whenever you do that, it helps other people find the show. We are all about bringing hope to people. We’ve all gone through difficult circumstances. I was talking about it with a friend this week that it’s not always that we’re at rock bottom. In show number one, I told you about my rock bottom. I certainly was there. It was my rock bottom for sure. But, it’s not always that we’re in rock bottom, though. Sometimes we’re just stuck. Sometimes we feel like we just can’t get out of first or second gear, and we need that nudge. I’m praying that this show and all the topics we’re going to cover is going to be that nudge youu need to take a step forward in your life. And I am so glad that you have found the show. A really special story today and a really special person. Jeremy Baus is our guest. How do I know Jeremy? Well, I probably would not know Jeremy if I had not been through what I went through. Jeremy and I were discussing it. By the way, are you a fan of Ted Lasso? I’ve got to admit, I’ve been locked in for the last couple of years. And something that Ted Lasso said to one of the other characters on the show was, “If that wouldn’t have happened…if you hadn’t gone from one team to another, then we never would have met each other.” And that’s what my friend Jeremy said to me. If you hadn’t have gone through all that you’ve been through, specifically just your marriage falling apart almost three years ago, then we would have never gotten to know each other. And maybe if we HAD gotten to know each other, it would have been during different circumstances. I wouldn’t have been in such a raw place for him to speak into my life and us to have such a great friendship. So there can be amazing things born out of seemingly sad things, amazing things born out of tragedies. And I think my relationship with Jeremy Baus is a big part of that. I love Jeremy. He is like a big teddy bear. He’s like a big hockey playing teddy bear. Big old dude. I don’t want to sell him short but like six foot five and just massive and you love coming up and giving him a hug because you feel so safe when you’re in his arms. I didn’t say that out loud, did I? I feel like he could be your bodyguard. And protect you wherever you go. But Jeremy and I have bonded over a lot of things, whether it be our love of sports, our love of our family, but especially our love of God. And at one of the lowest points in my life, God directed me to his Circle, and more importantly some incredible lessons about what it means to have a relationship with God and truly take hold of what God believes about us. That’s why Jeremy Baus means so much to me and I want you to meet my great friend Jeremy Baus. Jeremy, I was about to say that it was just happenstance that we ran into each other two and a half, almost three years ago but it’s not, it’s a God thing, it’s him bringing us together and man, I’m so thankful for who you’ve been in my life over the last three years.

Jeremy Baus

Thanks John. Same. You’ve made a massive impact in my life and I’m happy to be here.

John Liddle

Absolutely. I’m happy to have you on because when I thought about how I wanted to start off the podcast…and we’re going to have a lot of interviews on this show over time, and it’s going to be a lot of fun and we’re going to learn a lot together. But I just wanted to start with: Okay, here’s where I was about three years ago, and here are some of the people that helped me through it. And here are some of the concepts that helped me go from, “Oh, my gosh, I feel like my life as I know it is ending.” To now having hope, because that’s what we’re going for with this podcast. And that’s what I’m so glad I have today. And what you really helped guide my eyes toward was the issue of identity. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. But I just want to start with this. The first time I got to know you. We were at what we call a Circles group at our church and just sat down at this random table with this friendly looking guy named Jeremy, and we were just going to talk about the weekend message and get to know each other, but I was not in a great way. I was feeling pretty lousy about myself. What do you remember about that first meeting?

Jeremy Baus

Man, I remember it was the first time we were doing on-campus Circles in years. It was kind of like right as COVID was kind of winding down. I just remember you coming and sitting down and just looking at you and just going like, all right, I’m excited to get to know this guy. I know nothing about him he’s got a smile on his face. Even if you felt like you were at this bad place, you were like a super approachable person, and you still had a smile on your face, the way that you spoke just was still inviting. Even if you were talking about something that was painful or hard, you were still talking with just an essence of who John is, of who John Liddle is, that it’s inviting. It’s fun to sit down and listen to and talk to and easy to sit down and listen to and talk to. I think it was Monday evenings at that time, each Monday evening, I looked more forward to sitting down and talking to you. And when it was not just you and I and there were more people there, I couldn’t wait to get to the end so that you and I could just sit and talk for a while, one on one, and those are my favorite moments, is just one on one time with John.

John Liddle

And so you guys get a chance to kind of be a part of the one on one time with John and Jeremy as we look back and we reminisce a little bit when we look forward as well. I just remember during those times when I didn’t know how to move forward, you didn’t always know exactly what to say, probably. And not all of us know exactly what to say when we want to give hope to somebody, but it could happen this week that somebody comes into our lives and they’re, like, at their wits end. But you just went back to what you knew and you went back to truth, and you went back to pouring into my heart and seeing my heart, and that meant a lot to me.

Jeremy Baus

You’re right. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have the answers. It was more just, I see this person, I can tell that they’re hurting, and I see them as somebody that’s worthy of love and care and respect and be paid attention to and just listen to and talk to and kind of let’s just figure it out together. I’m not a person that will ever say, I know all things about anything. I just love being around people.

John Liddle:

That’s good, man. And that’s like, the first step, is just being available. And when we’re available to people, God can use us to just reach others when we get out of the way, but we’re available. It’s really good. So when I was thinking about what to talk about with you, there’s no doubt identity and worthiness. That’s what I wanted to talk about with you, because that’s what I think about when I think about you. So I just want to start with this. What does that mean to you? Identity and worthiness. How has that been either a struggle or a triumph point in your life.

Jeremy Baus:

Yeah. Since this podcast is about a little bit about going back to where you’ve been so you can look at where you’re going. That’s right, man. So I grew up playing hockey. I grew up in a family that was all about performance. So a lot of my identity was tied to how well can I perform at whatever I’m doing? How well can I perform the ice? When I got to my job, it was, how well can I perform in my job? And I have the unique situation that I work with my dad on a daily basis. So the idea of trying to figure out what my identity as an employee or as somebody in the workforce, but also working as a son, I got those two things really twisted in a lot of ways where conversations that were meant to be boss and employee, I took as father and son. And it got really twisted in my identity of if my dad was mad at me as an employee because I made a mistake, I took that as he was mad at me as his son. And then you take that to the whole another level father son relationship, believing in Jesus, believing in God, that I took the same responsibility when I had conversations with God of, like, if God was upset with me, I would feel like he was angry with me because I didn’t do what he expected me to do. Or I had that father son relationship that also went to me and God, and that took a long time to really unpack and really separate those two things. A lot of it started with having that conversation with my dad of, hey, we really need to set these guardrails of so I can understand what my identity is when I’m here at work. And I don’t get that confused with me being your son. And we kind of set those guardrails of, hey, when we’re having a father son conversation, let’s declare that and go, this is a father son conversation. And when we have a work conversation, let’s say this is a work conversation, and let’s not let the two mix. Now he and I can go in and out of those conversations and not have to declare that anymore. Because I’ve grown in who I am and grown in my identity. Of understanding that my identity does not rest in how I perform at work, doesn’t rest in how I perform in my family, it doesn’t rest in how I perform on the ice. I don’t play hockey very often anymore, but I am on our worship team playing guitar. So it doesn’t even rest in how well I do that. It rests in me being worthy as God’s creation number one, and number two, being worthy because of Jesus. So I get to walk in that aspect of my identity isn’t defined by my work ethic anymore. It’s defined just for being Jeremy Baus and how I was created to love people, to live out what I was created to do and be around people, make people smile, lift people up, build them up, whatever that is. And it’s a continuous journey. It’s not like I’ve got it all figured out, and my identity is rock solid. Something always comes up where I’m like, man, I’m finding my identity in that conversation, or I’m finding my identity in how my kids act at school and having to really unravel each of those things when they come up. Because again, I haven’t fixed it completely. There’s a continuous cycle of, “Man, I’m really getting twisted in this situation. Maybe it’s because I’m finding my identity in being a good parent, and if my kid’s acting up, I don’t see myself as a good parent?”

John Liddle:

Man, that is really good. And it makes me think about my life, and I know it’s making everybody think about their life. And asking myself, “Where do I find my identity and where do I struggle?” It feels like that area of my life isn’t going exactly according to plan, because I’ve got areas in my life where I’m not perfect, but it doesn’t get me down if I’m not perfect, if that makes sense. But then there are areas of my life like my marriage. And I saw this all throughout my marriage, and then when it ended, the fact that I wasn’t married or my marriage wasn’t going well, or my ex–wife was upset with me for some reason…that just tore me up! And I don’t know exactly why. You want to have a heart posture like anybody does, to be repentant when you screw up, right? But it goes beyond that for me and in some way what I’m still dealing with today, and it could be for anybody. Also, I know work is a big thing for guys. Parenting is a big thing for any parent. But I feel like that’s something we stereotypically talk about with women, right? Just like, how are my kids doing? And I hear that what you’re saying about your kids as well. And it feels like there’s a lot of work there with particular things to just let go. That part of you that is clinging to kind of self condemnation there.

Jeremy Baus:

I think it’s actually tied to, like, we are created to do things with excellence. We’re created to do things well. So when we come across something where we don’t feel like we’re doing it well, we feel like we’re missing the mark. We feel like we’re not doing it with excellence. So then we go, “Oh, well, if I’m not doing that with excellence, I’m not supposed to do that.” When we’re not supposed to do things perfectly all the time. Excellence isn’t perfection. It’s not lack of mistakes. Excellence is pursuing the best that we can in the moment that we’re working in. It’s the pursuit of doing what we can in the moment with the talents we have, with the emotional state that we have, the energy we have, all of it. Doing with excellence is trying to step that forward. But again, I think when we make that mistake and we miss that excellence, I think we can go, “Man, my identity is tied up in what I should have done versus who I am.” And doing it the way that I did it was exactly how I was designed to do it in that moment.

John Liddle:

And then there are those relationships in our lives that we cannot fix. And for me, you probably have a good idea of what that relationship is that I just wasn’t able to fix and what that person thinks of me. Eventually, I’ve just got to let go, right? And that is hard to look past what somebody thinks or what you perceive somebody thinks, and it’s an important person to you. So what do we do when we’ve got a relationship you didn’t feel like you can fix? It could be with a parent. It could be with a spouse, could even be with a kid for some of us, and it’s eating us alive, and we know it, and it’s become a stronghold in our life. What do we do to get past that?

Jeremy Baus:

It’s a great question. I wish I could say I had the go to answer that this will fix all relationships and everything will be great, but I feel like the ultimate answer to that question is that there’s always hope. We believe in the redemptive nature of people. You and I believe in the redemptive nature of humankind because of Jesus. But there is a redemptive nature in people that you have to have hope. You have to have hope in what’s ahead of you, and you can’t not allow yourself to go: “This will never change.” But you also have to have the ability to set the guardrails of going, “Hey, if this isn’t healthy for me to try to get this relationship repaired, it may not be healthy for them either.” So let’s find a way to set some distance, if we have to, to figure it out. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t want the best for you. It means that I do want the best for you. I just can’t give you that best of what you feel like you need right now. So I think it is understanding that we can’t control them. We can’t control their response to how we do things. So we have to go, “Okay, I’m not responsible for how they feel. I’m not responsible for what they’re doing in this as long as I’m being a kind, hopeful person that believes in the best, hopes in the best, expects the best.” And that expectation is like holding them to their best, which is very different than having an expectation of them. Does that make sense? Because I think you can have an expectation of somebody and expectation, they fall short of that expectation….

John Liddle:

Yeah, exactly. And then you get mad at them for not doing what you expect. But what you’re saying is it’s not like you go into the relationship expecting to be let down, if that makes sense. You believe the best about that person, and then if you get let down, you have to let it go. But there’s some aspect of just knowing you cannot control what they think and you cannot control what they do. Visiting with Jeremy Baus, good friend of mine, we’re talking about identity and we’ve talked about finding our identity and what other people think of us. We’ve talked about finding our identity and success, whether or not things are going right at work or with our kids. What about when we let ourselves down? Jeremy, I was thinking about self judgment when we come up short of what we believe, and this is something you alluded to earlier, but when we start judging ourselves and not giving ourselves the ability to mess up without forgiving ourselves, how can that impact our identity?

Jeremy Baus:

Yeah. Personally, I am my own biggest critic, and I hold myself to a higher standard than I think anybody else holds me to. And that often puts me in that place of self-condemnation, of feeling like feel like I’m worthless because I didn’t meet what I had expected for me when somebody else maybe had of me meeting a goal that was attainable. And I had met that goal, but I had set a further goal for myself or a further expectation for myself. I really do beat myself up going, “You dummy, why’d you do that?” Sometimes it’s the voice of my father. And yeah, there’s some things that I play through my head of what my father said, and most of the time it’s jokingly that he’ll say some things that I just allowed to spin in my head. But that’s one of my biggest struggles is self-condemnation when I make a mistake on myself. Whether I’ve expected the house to be clean or expected when I mowed the lawn to not miss a spot. These are kind of silly examples, but I’ll beat myself up over missing like a three inch spot of grass when I was running the lawnmower because I expect myself to be perfect. And that’s again, that’s where I roll back into the identity piece and I have to go, why do I want myself to be perfect? Why do I want my lawn to look perfect? And for me, I roll back into it’s because how I think other people would perceive me if they see a strip of lawn that isn’t taken care of and that’s one of my internal motivators is how people perceive what I’m doing. I do not like to look like I don’t know what I’m doing. Incompetence is like my biggest fear. If I feel like I’m incompetent in a situation, I’m terrified. So if I miss something that makes me look incompetent, that’s where I really start to beat myself up.

John Liddle:

I’ve got a fear of abandonment, of being left alone, of being that goes back to childhood. And I was wondering, how are we going to encourage people today to look at their childhood, to look back? And I think people have become more accepting of looking deep into their past and where these wounds come from. But if that’s something you’ve never looked at, I know Jeremy and I would both encourage you to do that and think, if I’m always self-condemning or if I am lacking in identity, if I’m finding my identity in external forces, what other people think of me. You’ve got to eventually figure out why and go back and look at that spot. If you don’t, it’s just going to continue to eat you alive. And you hear Jeremy and I, and we’re still struggling with this. It’s not that things are going to be perfect down the line, but if you just start to zero in on something you can hold on to, like “I don’t like being found incompetent.” I’m saying I don’t like being abandoned. I don’t like feeling like people are running out on me. Then you start to get an idea of why you struggle in the identity piece and you start to get a sense of why you do what you do as an adult.

Jeremy Baus:

Yeah, and it’s not, this is why I do it, and it’s okay, let me sit in it. It’s man, now I know why. Now I know my triggers. Now I know what ways I can get past it and what ways I can grow through it, what ways I can continue to work through it and find new ways? I am in such a better place in even that incompetence aspect than I was two years ago when you and I met for the first time. I never would have thought that I’d play guitar in front of hundreds of people on Sundays. I never thought I would play guitar in front of anybody. That was one of my biggest fears of stepping into it was, what if people think that I’m a phony because I get up there and I play something wrong? Now I get up there and I love it. I love being up there. I still get anxious, but I think it’s a good anxious. I want to do it with excellence, so I have this desire to do it well. But if I make a mistake, I’ve gotten to a place that I don’t even show it on my face very much anymore. It ued to be like, I’d make a mistake and be like, “what do I do?” But now I’ve gotten to a place where I’ll make a mistake and I may stop for a second to recompose myself, but I’m not panicked. It’s more just a, “Hey, I missed that cool. Let’s get back on track. Let’s keep moving forward.” And I think that in itself is like a great explanation of finding what your trigger is and being able to know that, hey, when I go off track, it was because of this. I don’t have to focus on that. Let’s get back on track and let’s keep moving forward. But I don’t think you can do that until you really realize and decipher identify what those things are that get you off track. So again, for me, mine is incompetence or feeling like I’m missing the mark or not quite meeting what my expectation is or what I think somebody else’s expectation is of me. I can go, man, they probably really don’t have that expectation. Let me get back on track for what I’m supposed to be doing right now.

John Liddle:

It’s really good. When I was doing some thinking back and looking at identity and seeing what I’ve learned about identity over the last couple of years, I came back to this phrase that is going to be very familiar to you. “Identity determines behavior. Who we think we are determines what we do.” So, who are you? What is your identity? What can you stand firm in? And for those of us that have a relationship with Jesus, if it’s a healthy relationship, our identity is found in the fact that God loves us like he loves Christ, and everything that can be said of Christ can be said of us. That’s why I’ve got this thing up here that I’m holy, that I’m loved, that I’m righteous, that I’m set apart. I say that to myself. I’m more than enough. That’s something I say to myself all the time, and it’s not because of anything I’ve done, okay? It’s to help me feel safe. Like, when I feel incompetent, like you were saying, when I feel like I’m alone, I just have to say this to myself. I have to remember what I truly believe, because then if I get into that identity, then I can walk forward with a little bit more confidence. If I believe I’m holy, I’m loved, I’m righteous, I’m set apart, then I believe I’m accepted, and then I can move forward in acceptance. If I believe that I’m lonely because of the things I’m done, I’ve done and it’s all my fault, then my identity is going to be, “Woe is me! I’m a terrible human! Nobody’s ever going to love me!” What does that mean to you when you think about your identity? When it’s good, what’s your behavior?

Jeremy Baus:

Well, my identity is always good.

Jeremy Baus:

Well, my IDENTITY is always good. My identity is like a beloved son and somebody that my Father is well pleased no matter what I do. So when I actually truly believe that and when I walk that out, I walk in confidence. I walk in knowing that I may not have all answers, and that’s okay. Rather than having to feel like I have to have the answer to everything, I walk with patience. I don’t get mad at my kids when they decide to run through the grocery store and knock over a jar of pickles. I don’t yell at them and say, “Hey, it’s okay, we’re good. We can clean this up together. Don’t touch the glass. Let me handle the glass.”

John Liddle:

Sounds like something that happened. (Laughs)

Jeremy Baus:

No, it actually hasn’t. But you can see it happening. Not with pickles. Let’s put it that way. They’ve broken. Plenty of glass pieces. Lots of lamps in our house get knocked over. Soccer balls through the living room, knocking a lamp over the dog, running over a cord and pulling the lamp over.

John Liddle:

Boy life, man! Sounds like fun!

Jeremy Baus:

Yeah! They’re wild and crazy. One is built like a bowling ball, can probably run through a brick wall, and the other one’s just hyperactive and running all over the place. But they’re fantastic. So I mean, I guess even rolling into that when I believe that I was created as a beloved son and I was created to be a good dad. Then again, I walk in that being patient, being kind, not yelling at them, believing in what God says about them, that they were created for great things that I don’t even have control over. But to recognize that my kids are not mine, believe that God created my kids and he appointed me to help raise them, that they are not my kids as a whole. I just have the opportunity to lead them for a while and try to do my best to help them move forward in what they were created to do, to speak identity into them. That way they don’t believe something wrong about themselves, that they’re broken, that they’re not worthy of anything. That’s a huge one with our six-year-old right now. He’s super hyperactive, and he can kind of lose his direction at times. And we’ve spoken with doctors and got him on some medications that really helps his brain slow down. But for the longest time, he felt like he was broken because he couldn’t focus, he couldn’t pay attention. So we had to continue to speak that identity of, like, “Dude, you’re not broken, buddy. You are perfectly and wonderfully made for who you are, for who you are supposed to be. As you become a man and you excel in this world as you’re a child running around and laughing and playing and doing all those things, you are perfectly and wonderfully made for that.” So there’s even an aspect of, like, I have to grab onto it for myself so that I can speak it into my kid, so that my kid doesn’t struggle with the same things that I have of thinking that I’m broken and I’m not worth anything. That I’m only worth something if I can provide something for somebody else. And that’s not true. I’m worthy because I was created by God. I was created by the Master of the Universe is what I believe. But regardless, you were created by something, regardless of what you believe, you were created by something. You are a masterpiece in what you were created. So in just IN THAT you are worthy of anything! Like, you are worthy of respect. You are worthy of honor. You are worthy of kindness. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of affection. Like, you take it to that next level of believing in Jesus. You are worthy of walking into the throne room to be with God because of what Jesus did. So there’s different aspects of worthiness, but regardless of if you believe that or not, you are worthy of love and affection and respect and honor in all places by all people.

John Liddle:

And you got a chance to hear why I love Jeremy so much and why he has meant so much to me is just when he gets deep into something, he can really dial in on it and just go a little bit deeper and go a little bit deeper and go a little bit deeper. And that’s why I love him, and that’s why he’s such a good friend. That’s why he’s such a good husband and a great dad as well. And I just want to call that out, like what you’re doing in your kids lives, in saying, “Hey, I’ve struggled with identity.” I think all of us struggle with identity in a way, but saying “I’m going to be part of the solution for my kids. I’m going to help them know they’re worthy.” And I definitely wanted to go here, because sometimes we cannot see it for ourselves. There were times when I first met you where I could not see it for myself. I just was in the lowest moment of my life. I didn’t know I was worthy. I couldn’t see past my faults. I couldn’t see past what was happening to me in the moment. And sometimes we’ve got to be hope for other people and let them know what their identity is and let them know they’re worthy. And along the lines, I mean, you know, just a couple weeks into our friendship, you gave me this key that said worthy on it that your wife had given you, and you passed it on to me, and that meant a ton to me. Tell me about that, why you did that, and just what that word means to you.

Jeremy Baus:

Yeah. So the Giving Key. So if anybody doesn’t know what a Giving Key is, it’s basically just a house key that somebody has stamped a word into that they’ve put on their keychain to remind them of something. Usually it’s something to remind them of something about themselves that they may not fully grab onto. So I was going through a season of not feeling like I was worthy of anything. I had kind of stepped out of a role that I had been in for a while, and I thought that that was going to be my forever gig. I thought I was going to be in youth ministry for the rest of my life and nothing bad happened. It was just one of those seasons where it just felt like it was time to step away from that. But I really felt like I stepped away from what God created me to do, and I felt worthless. And I continued to battle with it. And it was about the same time that Avengers Endgame came out. So the whole, like, Thor gaining weight and struggling and the moment where he goes back in time and he reaches out for Mjölnir and it comes to him, and he goes, “I’m still worthy.” That was a line that just sunk to my soul, because it was one of those, like “Oh, my goodness. I’ve been saying that over myself over and over again, feeling unworthy about my life. Like I’ve missed my calling, like I’ve missed everything. And now I am worthy.” So in that season, my wife recognized that in me. My wife calls it out in me of like “You’re really stuck in this loop of feeling like you’re unworthy in all aspects.” I felt unworthy to be her husband. I felt unworthy to be my kid’s father. I felt unworthy at work. I felt unworthy in my friendships. It was just this space. And it didn’t help that I was in a lot of physical pain as well. I was having major back problems at that time, so I didn’t feel like I could actually do anything. I spent a lot of time in bed in pain, so I couldn’t play with my kids. So I felt like it was a bad dad. But she gave me this key, and I carried it around for a while. And then slowly, every time I got my keys out to get in the car or walk into the house, I would see this key. And it was a key about that big and kind of had a big head on it and it was black and they just had “WORTHY” stamped into it. And I had been invited to lead some circles at the church and sit at this table. And that really started to rebuild my confidence in what God called me to do. And it wasn’t to be just in youth ministry. It was to be just love people and see people where they were and help people grow and grow myself and continue to take steps. So we were getting to this place and John and I you and I met. And I could just see it in you. Of you did not feel that way. You did not feel worthy. You felt worthless. And I think you had actually said that a few times, and I remember how early I gave it to you, but I feel like it was like week two or three that we really knew each other. And it was just in my quiet time, spending time processing, praying, meditating, just listening to what the Lord was trying to tell me. It was, “Hey, you’re supposed to pass that key on. That’s not yours anymore. That’s for John.” And from my understanding, that’s the entire intent of those keys is you carry it for a while until somebody else needs it, and then you pass it along. So it was a really cool moment for me to go, “Hey, I’m still working on this, and I’m still growing in this, but I don’t need the key as a reminder. They need the key as a reminder right now. You need to give this away so they can receive what you’ve received.” And I feel like that was a really big moment for you. And I had it felt a little uncomfortable at first. I’m like, “How’s he going to perceive this? Is he going to grab onto it and be okay with it? Is he going to weird it out?” But I don’t know. What was that like for you to receive that?

John Liddle:

I mean, it was huge! Because it was pretty bold, because and I had been talking to several people about what I was going through, but I don’t think anybody had actually recognized what you recognized, like how much I was struggling with feeling worthy. And I did some things that I’m just not proud of. And it would be more like some people would say that wasn’t that bad. Or instead of they try to address directly what I said I had done to make the marriage at that point almost come to an end. And they didn’t speak to my heart like you spoke to my heart like that word spoke to my heart. And I’m not worthy because of anything that I’ve done or I haven’t done. I’m just worthy. We believe, because we were created by God, I don’t have to do anything to be worthy of love. I don’t have to do anything to be worthy of just the grace that Jesus provides and the mercy, and it’s already there. It’s already done. And I was born worthy, and I’d forgotten that, and so it meant a great deal to me. And I carried it (the key) it feels like for at least six months, maybe eight months. I probably hoarded it a little bit because it meant so much to me. But then I was able to pass it on to a young man that was struggling with some drug addiction and just kind of in and out of rehab and that sort of thing. And I was just like, man, he needs to see this. Whether or not he did drugs last night or if he’s on a three week good streak, it doesn’t matter. Man. He’s still worthy. And I know that meant something to him at the moment and I hope he passed it on to somebody else. Because that’s what I kind of wanted to leave us all with, is no matter if we’re struggling or not, what we’re going through, we’re going through so we can help somebody else down the line. And so when you feel up to it, when you feel like you are ready to take that step and give some hope away, oh, my gosh, it’s going to mean so much to somebody. Not to say, “Hey, I know everything and you don’t. And so I want to bestow this upon you.” No. Just to speak into their heart and say, “You are worthy. You’re going to be okay. I love you just the way you are. I truly do, and I’m here for you.” And when we do that, that’s when we change lives. People have done that for me. People have done that for Jeremy. And if nobody’s done that for you, we want you to know, like Jeremy said earlier, you are worthy just the way you are. It does not matter. You are worthy just the way you are right now. And you don’t have to find your identity in what you’ve done or what you haven’t done. And there is hope big time. And we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t believe it. Jeremy, I can’t thank you enough for coming on the show, for being a part of the story, for helping to tell the story of how we met and kind of what we’ve gone through. And I really wanted this to get outside of ourselves and speak to other people and I think that you really did that today. So thank you so much for that. And I think people are going to come try to steal my friend because you’re an awesome dude and you’re a wonderful, wonderful person to know.

Jeremy Baus:

Well, I appreciate that. I think the coolest part about is this conversation, was that it healed pieces of my heart that I didn’t even realize had cracks in them. So I think that’s another piece that I would say leave everybody with, of sharing hope with other people increases your own hope. It’s not a finite resource that if you give it away you don’t get it back. You actually multiply it when you give it to somebody else.

John Liddle:

I love that. I love that. You’ve absolutely multiplied it today. Jeremy, I love you, man. Thank you again. Jeremy Baus . Oh, my goodness, what a dude he is. And we were just talking about it afterward. Like, I just, I just love what he said about, you know, even just giving away hope. There’s not a finite amount of, of hope. It makes me think about, you know, Jesus feeding the 5000 and the disciples being like, “this is all we got.” And Jesus is like, “Yeah, you go feed them anyway!” And God does something amazing when we’re ready to give our hope away, even if it’s just a glimmer of hope. So whatever hope you’ve got today, if you got some hope from this episode, please share it with people. That’s a way you can multiply it as well. We are everywhere you find podcasts and so just share it. Make sure to subscribe and rate and review the show. I’ve already had a chance to record some awesome interviews. I cannot wait to bring them to you. Just going to run the gamut of what we experience in this life and it’s going to be a journey that we go on together. And I can’t wait to do it with you. Thanks to everybody involved in this podcast, including my good friend, Jeremy Baus. Remember, it’s not about where you’ve been. It’s not about where you are right now. It’s about where you’re going and who you are becoming.